Jun. 30, 2009 - Vacation

I have returned from a super-mega-awesome vacation that included a Blue October concert road trip, a sleep-over, a huge ass tent, the best steak I've ever eaten in my life, sand in my asscrack, swordfighting a catfish, playing with a turtle, smores, lots of blood and guts, congestion, wearing my fresh kill's skin, sunburn, dirt and minnows all accompanied by the awesomeness of my best friend. On my vacation, I learned many things. I will share these with you now.

1. No matter how awake you are on the drive out to a concert, the return trip home you will be sleepy.
2. Fashionably late is not always a bad thing.
3. My dog is a gluttonous klepto.
4. I'm great at catching small fish.... and turtles.

5. Minnows die way too quickly... and they change color when they die too.

6. People who work in small shops in vacationland like to talk... and have a pathetic sense of humor.

7. SPF 80 does not work.

8. I pop inflatable things.

9. Catfish don't die.

10. Wire cutters are a camping necessity. So are quarters, apparently. And really really sharp knives.

11. Blood does NOT come out of your favorite sundress.

12. Geese will talk back to you if you are nerdy enough to talk to them first.

13. Do NOT back your car down the hill.

14. Camp store wood does not taste as good as Lou's dad's wood... woah, that sounds bad... um... rephrase: the wood they sell at the store does not taste as good as the wood Lou's dad gave us..... nope.. that sounds bad too.... The wood we took with us was better than the wood we purchased.... fuck it. That shit made our meat taste friggin awesome!

15. Packing a tent back into the bag is damn near impossible.

16. I apologize too much.

17. I have a paralyzing fear of latrines.

18. Third times a charm in perfecting the art of campfire potatoes.

19. Smores = dangerous.

20. I am allergic to outside.

21. My dreams constantly try to ruin my vacation - I spent the whole time dreaming about work.

22. My best friend is a better fisherman than I am.

23. I hate my job.

24. Towels do NOT provide traction when you are stuck in the dirt.

25. Small-mouth Bass have skin you can peel off.

26. Once submerged in seaweedy lake water, books are fairly useless.

27. That plant actually WAS poison ivy.

28. I am not photogenic.

29. I can still scream like a little girl.

30. Catfish are zombies. Seriously.